Tormented
by Gottin des Todes
Summary: Watari is not only tormented by his own mistake but now Muraki has begun to torment him, too. *A sequel to Hidden Pleasures* R-for references to sex, shounin ai, and possible swearing. There will be NO lemons in this* Enjoy. Please review.


It was a cold wet night, just like the night that brought me into this new life of mine. I wouldn't be in this situation if I had just of stayed home that night, but no, my experiments are more important than my life then I guess. Now I live but I am dead, sometimes feeling doomed to this life, and all of this is because of certain selfish desire for knowledge I possessed.  
  
I walked on the street with my hands shoved into the pockets of my brown trench coat. With a sharp wind, cold drops fell from the clouds that had been threatening to do this very thing all day. I brought my head up to the night sky, and left the raindrops fall upon my face. It seemed almost like the heavens were crying, for me or with me I don't know. I don't want to know either.  
  
I looked continued to look up and questioned the heavens, "Why did I do that? I don't want him and I didn't want that to happen." The rain began to fall harder. I closed my eyes. I took in a deep breath hoping that it would help, but when I let it out it hadn't.  
  
I looked around the area, there were a few houses but the only thing that provided some shelter was a lonesome tree and that didn't provide much. I thought through my decisions, and chose the tree. I sat down with my back to the trunk.  
  
I couldn't face going back to the hotel room that 003 and I were sharing. He saw the whole thing happen, and even though he is an owl, I couldn't face the look that he seemed to give. Every time he looked at me, it seemed as if he was giving me the look of betrayal, which wretches my heart, since he isn't only my pet but one of my closest friends, and he thought of me in the same way.  
  
As I though of my friend and my betrayal, vivid scenes of that night a week ago flashed in my mind. I saw myself at the restaurant, then it changed to everything that happened with Muraki. I just wanted to forget it had happened but it was one of those things that seem to flash through your mind over and over again. I don't even know why I did it. That was the worst part of the whole thing.  
  
When I had awoken, from the drugs he had somehow slipped into my food, and saw him, I tried to get away, that was all I wanted, but I had given in to him for some reason. Most of me didn't want it to happen, that part of me even calls myself a betrayer now. The other part wanted it all so bad, maybe it was for the feel of being loved, maybe it made me feel like someone wanted me when nobody else did, or maybe I just wanted the sex, I really don't know. But all in all, something had brought me down far enough to have sex with that man, Muraki Kazutaka. But why would he do something like this? I thought he wanted Tsuzuki.  
  
I sighed and laid my head against the tree and closed my eyes. I lost myself in all of my thoughts for a while, until I heard a snap of a branch against the wet ground. I opened my eyes and looked quickly over where the snapping came from. There he stood staring down at him with his piercing silver eyes. I brought myself up to my feet quickly, almost throwing myself off balance in the process. I stood there and looked him.  
  
He took a step closer to me, I tried to back up but I hit the tree. A smile played on his face and as he watched me. He then began to speak, "My, my Watari, why do you give me such a look? A look of hatred such as that one doesn't fit your face at all."  
  
I stepped to my left away from the tree and away from him too. "Why are you doing all of this?" I said to him.  
  
"Why? I thought you would know. But I guess not," he said smirking.  
  
"Don't play games like that," I found myself almost shouting from anger. It just angered me that he wanted to play games with this situation. Maybe it is just a game to him. That is it, he is just playing a game at my expense. "Just give me a straight out no bullshit answer, Muraki."  
  
Muraki gave me what appeared to be an amused smile. "You say my name with such hatred in it. What did I ever do for you to hate me? Nothing. I have never done anything to you. You have just heard stories about me besides the few times that we did meet."  
  
I thought about the things that he said. He was right about one thing; he had never done anything to me, but look at all of the things that that he had done to Tsuzuki and Hisoka. He had harmed my friends and I could not forgive him for that. I went to open my mouth to tell him but he cut me off.  
  
"You and I both need something. And we can find that something together. I will be there for you Watari. I will give you the love that you need. The love that Tsuzuki won't give you. I can give it all to you." He leaned in closer to me putting his hands on my shoulders and then bringing his face closer to mine. His warm lips against mine.  
  
My mind screamed no, and the other part of me screamed yes. But I actually listened to the reasonable side. I pushed him away. I knew that he wouldn't be able to give me anything I need. He just wants to use me somehow, whether it is for sex, or for some twisted way to get Tsuzuki. I just can't let him do that again. I had betrayed my friends enough, and I was determined to never do it again.  
  
His kind smile was replaced by a scowl, but I didn't care. "Muraki, I don't want you. I will never want you again. I don't know why I did what I did the other night but I never do it again. And I know what you are saying is all a lie. You can't give me everything I want and I know it. I will not let you use me for your twisted plan. And you would NEVER be able to give me the love that I want." And with that said, I ran. ________________________________________________________________________  
  
Muraki watched the blonde run off into the dreary night. "Watari, little do you know, I will be using you, and as a matter of fact, I already am." When the blonde was out of sight, he turned and walked the way he came from.  
  
* To Be Continued *  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * Author's Note * Please review. Reviews make authors happier, and reviews also sometimes help with writing. 


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